Games rated EC (early Childhood) cannot contain any combination of the following elements: Nuns with Spears
through their heads, Necrobestial Butt Sex, Money Shots, exit wounds, or Frightening Right Wing Fundamentalists.
Games rated E (Everybody) cannot have content or substance, graphics violence or homoerotic overtones. Absolutely no
goat porn. Extended close ups of oversized genetalia shown engaged in copulation, along with any other depicted coitus,
must be supported by appropriate backstory and force feedback.
T (Teen) rated games can contain 'all lesbian crack whore butt action'. Can portray lepers engaged in, or not engaged
in golden showers. Individuals engaging in rim jobs must be seen performing proper oral hygiene later on in gameplay. The
ripping of entrails from children must not be shown in a humerous nature, unless said scene contains 'utmost hilarity'.
M (Mature), the rating generally used by people who have a crappy game and want to use gore and sex to sell it. The
use of sex toys that require the use of an outlet is not permitted. Dancing midgets with scabies and guiche piercing can
only be shown if the depiction of the midget is not exploitive. Scenes involving tea-bagging are highly likely.
AO (Adults Only), the only rating permitted for any game that contains sex with cloven hooved mammals. Can contain
imagery of weeping chancres buzzing with flies and maggots. Use of the gerbil-cam is allowed with proper SPCA certification.
The only approved rating for imagery of stool in which it is obvious the leaver of said stool had eaten corn recently.