April 30th, 2002 09:20 hours CST currently listening to: "Tomorrow's Tears" by Cranes.

I was relatively awake before morning weight loss occurred. I'm trying hard to not have my head just collide with my keyboard right now. Tee hee.

Rachel and I took the green line out to Kristen and Moe's place to get their truck to haul Rachel's crap all over town. Heh. We swapped freaky stories about our scary situations that occurred in our past retail jobs. Hers were WAY worse than mine. Remind me not to go thrift shopping in St. Louis when it's "straightjacket day". Kristen is gonna make me a Ms. Mae shoulder bag out of sparkly blue vinyl. I can't fucking wait!

Rachel and I did a pretty good job of moving her stuff. I was a bit white knuckled for a while she was driving me to my car across town. Heh. I'm so glad she's getting out of that area. It just gives me the creeps. Her new place has the largest population of alley rats that I've yet seen in Chicago. I counted close to 10 during the two trips we made over there. The girls (kitties) seemed to take to the place really well. Bella just jumped into her routine of "Hello. I'm Bella. I'm in charge of CUTENESS!" We stopped by Dunkin Donuts on the way back to drop the truck off and I wolfed down a half dozen donuts in about 30 seconds. My electrolytes were just gone. I hadn't eaten any dinner and Dunkin Donuts did me right.

There was this amazingly cute little goth girl in facing me during my entire train ride this morning. I didn't have the guts to talk to her though. Considering the reaction I got when "walking the gauntlet" in front of the Kill Hannah show, I'm a bit unsure of what to do in these situations. Oh well. On a brighter note, I put myself back on Claritin D again. I love have a brain made of pudding in the morning.

April 29th, 2002 08:40 hours CST currently listening to: "Cloudless" by Cranes.

I am trying so hard to stay awake right now. I'm freakishly sleepy. I just didn't want to get out of bed this morning. I was nodding off on the train. Bah.

So Friday. Got all cool looking while still at work and went up to Lakeview to see Whimsical open for Kill Hannah and to finally meet Betsy Rockett. Well, none of that happened. I had no idea that Kill Hannah was that popular. The show was sold out. I walked past the enormous line of prepubescent, zit-covered goth wannabes to the clubhouse next door to the Metro to get a ticket. The guy there took a while to respond when I asked if I could purchase a ticket. He seriously looked me up and down, realizing that not only was I over the legal age to buy alcohol, but that I could also drive a car and vote, and then finally responded "it's sold out". Well, that was a bust. Now here's the other weird thing. BOTH times I walked past the line of kids outside, as I passed them they all stopped talking. It was this creepy wave of silence as I walked past. I wondered if they were just curious to see a person who could actually shave, or if they thought I was in one of the bands. It was fucking spooky. It would have been fun to get in. Just to people watch, if anything. I left a few messages on Betsy's cell phone and then moved on to Strange Cargo.

Alex's friend Yvonne was there working and we instantly recognized each other. I thought that was really nice because we'd only met once and that was for a regrettable split second. So we chit-chatted for a bit and Rachel called. I told her about my blown plans for the evening and she told me she was going to bed. It was funny. So, I went all the way back down the red line to my office downtown. I'd had a package arrive from Musicians Friend that had some new guitar stands, so I picked those up and went up the blew line to my place. I spent the rest of the night watching DVD's and laying low.

Saturday I cleaned all day long. My apartment is fucking rad, people. It looks completely new. I'll put up pics some time soon. I should have just taken them last night. Eh. Karen and Liz came over and I threw some pizza's in the oven. Karen was flipping out over my new paint job. She only got to see the front hallway and gear room while were painting them a week ago. We watched Office Space and then went out to Oak Park to see Over the Rhine. Now, those of you who know who that band is will realize that it's not my cup of tea musically. But i was just hanging out with Liz and Karen and a bar atmosphere seemed like an ok idea to me. It hailed big time for a while. Golf ball-sized. Pretty crazy.

Sunday I went to brunch with DJ, Jeff and Kim. We hadn't done brunch together in far too long. It was great. Before they showed up at Wishbone, I went to this cute little store where I get my awesome bar soap from. I bought some hilarious cards for people who have birthdays and anniversary's coming up. I had some whopping huge chocolate chip pancakes and a slab of bacon. Oh it was sweet. Came back home and played Extermination for a while and cooked the CD for Ben to practice for when I fly out to California next month. Wow, that's coming up fast. Anyway, I went over to Rachel's to help her move stuff over to her new place in my neighborhood. I got to meet Matt, her quirky roommate. He's a super nice guy. Although I'm not too sure who I feel about someone who insists on putting kiddie pool in the living room. Only time will tell. I don't rely on first impressions. My car smells like kitty litter now. Rachel's old place has virtually no ventilation, and woah nelly it's gettin ripe in there. While we were waiting to hear back from Matt, I cooked us some dinner and we sat on my living room floor listening to Miles Davis. It was wonderful. For a lot of reasons.

OH!!!! And I FINALLY got my network at home up and running at 100%!!!! Well, not 100%, because my NIC in my PII machine isn't running at full duplex for some gay-ass reason, but I now have both machines on the net at the same time and I can access both independently. Oh linksys, I adore you.

April 25th, 2002 10:40 hours CST currently listening to: "There's No Other Way" by Blur.

Ok this is freaky. I had an eyelash that was tickling my left eye. I pulled on my eye lashes to get rid of it and I pulled out like SEVEN eye lashes in one go. I tried this on my right eye and nothing happened. What the hell does this mean? Am I getting leprosy in installments or was I just due for a bunch of "eye lash wishes"?

April 25th, 2002 08:25 hours CST currently listening to: "Sight of Me" by South.

Well, today is shaping up to be a lot better than yesterday. I finished my apartment last night, and I'm oh so happy. I only ended up doing one coat of paint in the living room, despite the fact that I bought an extra gallon of paint on Tuesday night. I just didn't feel like doing it. It's not as obvious as the gear room, and once I got my posters back up, you don't even notice it. It's so pretty! When you pull the painters tape off of the trim and then step back, you kind of go "ahhhhhh. nice". I love it. It's amazingly nice to have my bedroom back to where it was. I'm thinking about getting a new frame for my bed and getting a headboard, and then putting the bed coming of a corner at an angle. But I'm not sure if I'll have room for that. I still have so much stuff to clean up. I've got tons of things to put into storage in the basement. Humidifier, space heater, etc. Then it's swifer, swifer, swifer. Hard would floors are such a whore for dust. I mean, I love the way they look and all, but gee whiz. It's a good thing I don't have cats (yet).

Talked to Rachel last night. That poor girl is so stressed out. I just wish she'd call me and tell me about it rather than disappear on me and be all introverted. But regardless, I was happy to hear from her. She's trying to move into her new place this weekend. It's her 4th in as many months. Yikes.

This weather today is beautiful. Yesterday was flat out gorgeous and then it ended up raining about 30 minutes before I had to leave work. Of course I hadn't taken an umbrella, but luckily the guy who runs the weird store downstairs had those ubercheap ones for $4. Score. I had a spring in my step this morning, that's for sure. I was seriously getting pissed about the new Rio Volt SP-100 portable cd player I bought. It had these ridiculous digital snaps and pops whenever I would walk with it. As if the initial sampling into the memory was badly processed. Luckily, and I find this outstanding, you can upgrade the firmware! I was running v1.63 and am now on v2.01. All the pops and clicks are gone! NOW I really love that player.

April 24th, 2002 08:05 hours CST currently listening to: "Pop Music" by Ex-Girl.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!! This morning is turning into shit. Dave ripped me a new one via email last night over this laptop that I have to setup. I swear he didn't tell me about HALF of the stuff he wanted done. And to top it off, he said my desk drawers weren't locked last night, so he pulled them out and put them in the server room. MY SERVER ROOM KEY WAS IN THE TOP DRAWER. So now I can't even get in there to finish this laptop. Fuck today.

And where did my friend go? I miss her

I didn't get any painting done at all. I didn't even do the work on my entertainment center that I was supposed to do as well. Somehow I slept on my right arm funny and it feels all sore. That, or I'm having a fucking stroke. The only good things that happened since yesterday afternoon are that I got a good haircut and found out that Betsy Rockett is moving down here soon.

Oh, and to cap this off as being a total bitch session..... the next person who asks me if I'm emo or mod is getting KICKED IN THE FUCKING NUTS. I'm not some trendy catch phrase. Grow up.

April 23rd, 2002 14:05 hours CST currently listening to: "Tozka" by Ex-Girl.

I'm so in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 23rd, 2002 08:12 hours CST currently listening to: "Skylab Sounds" by Hot Zex.

Jesus Jones, way too much stuff happened this weekend. I'll try to do a day-by-day report here. Friday was pretty low key. In fact, I think I went to bed around 9:30 or 10. I'm a party animal.

Saturday was a full day. I got up pretty early and collected the two months worth of recyclables off of my back porch and finally got it all to the recycling center over in Pulaski Park. Nice place. Lots of trees and all. Then I went to the new Home Depot over on Elston to get some painters masking tape and some color swatches for my apartment. I taped up the front hallway and also the music gear room. I was taping up until I had to walk out the door to go pick up Alex. She needed a ride to her show that night at the A-Zone because they had no van to carry her amp. It was good to see her again. I hadn't seen her in well over a month, I think. The show was.... interesting. I hadn't been to anything this punk since I was in high school. The place reminded me a lot of "Secret Sailor" down in Bloomington. You walk in and see some random books and t-shirts and quickly notice that nobody around you uses deodorant. The basement where they played was alright. No low slung pipes to whack my head on. Rachel, Kristen and Moe showed up a few minutes after we did. Rachel just got her hair cut and looks cute as hell. But then, she kind of always does, you know? Anyway. Alex kind of does this drunk swagger when she's rockin on stage. Then I found out later it was because of the speed and Tequila. Grrrrreat! Kristen and Moe spent most of the show talking to me and we all joked about how old we felt. Or maybe that was just me. I took a few pictures, but the guys in front of me refused to move out of the way. Too captivated with Alex, I imagine. So, the pictures are mostly the backs of their heads, due to the flash. After the show, the five of us drove over to the Golden Nugget on Western and Diversey for some grub. Well, I wanted grub. They just wanted coffee. Good conversations with Kristen and Moe.

Sunday I got up early again to continue taping. Karen came over around 2 or so and we went to Home Depot to get my paint. I can't say enough about what a great help she was. We wolfed down some whoppers and then got to work. We did the front hallway first and were completely amazed by the color. I'm not revealing anything yet. There will be pictures once it's all done. We then moved into the gear room and again, we flat out amazed. This was all turning into some very cool stuff. Karen left around 5:30 and I hauled ass to get ready for Siouxsie and the Banshees

I promised some people that I would take pictures of some things, but I was just too rushed to do it. So, sorry folks. I got to Jeff and Kim's and Kim sounded like hell. I've never heard her this hoarse before. She was eating soup and Jeff and I chowed down on a Freschetta 4-cheese pizza. Damn, those things are good. I met up with Jessica at the Leona's across the street from the Vic. The line for the show was enormous! It went down the block and way around the corner. Luckily it wasn't raining. I ran into the Bloomington folks in the line. Kacey, Kiley and Mary. Bumped into Jason from Songs Ohia who I hadn't seen in about a year. Most of us went upstairs. You could tell the age difference up there. It was kind of sick. The older crowd was sitting in the balcony seats while the younger generation was downstairs standing. I wanted to chat with Jeff and Kim so I stayed upstairs. The first group was called Ex-Girl, and I cannot say enough about them. A three piece girl rock group from Japan that absolutely blew my mind. They were so good!!!! The songs were just crazy and the guitar player maybe looked at her guitar once or twice per song. I mean, she would sing AND play lead at the same time and never look down. I was so impressed. And they could sing REALLY well. They would do these crazy three part harmonies. You really need to check them out. Like, right now. Stop reading this and go find them.

Siouxsie came out and they put on a relatively good show. She looked fantastic. They had a great light show, but oh my god, there was this one light that was shinning straight at us and everyone in our section. It was really annoying. She doesn't seem to have the vocal range that she used to. She was really flat on several songs and almost behind tempo too. The guitar player was having all kinds of trouble. He downright butchered "Cities in Dust" and "Spellbound" as well. Coupled with Siouxsie's flat pitch, those songs were really disappointing. And they're my two favorites too. *frown* There was a few great moments where Siouxsie declared war on the security guards. She got pissed when they walked past the front of the stage in the security pit. She was like "you fuckers, this isn't a fashion show runway. If I catch you pulling that shit again I'm gonna practice my golf swing on you. That's the only way to play golf; with human heads!" Well, she just outted herself for being old by using a golf reference, but I celebrated her nonetheless. There was a guard who showed up later during "Spellbound" that missed her first announcement and she ran after him and kicked him in the head with her heels! She tried swinging at him with her mic, but the cable wasn't log enough. It was hilarious. Speaking of hilarious, Budgie was in good form. He's in terrific shape and was bouncing around whenever he could. He reminded me of a young Stewart Copeland of the Police. I opted to not go out afterwards, even though I had Monday off. I wanted to get up early to continue painting.

Monday morning was cool. I did a 2nd coat on the hallway and pulled the tape off the gear room walls. It was all coming together nicely. I then moved all the stuff around in the living room just so I could get to the walls. After taping, I started one wall at a time. I had to do it in shifts because I have some big items in there. Those book shelves were a bitch, but I got them moved anyway. The color in there is fantastic. It's definitely the crowning jewel of the whole place now. Which is good, because I spend more time in the room than any of the others. The living room is now done, but I still have to do some maintenance on the entertainment center. *sigh* I started the bedroom last night and quickly realized that one, this was going to need more than one coat, and two, I would need another gallon of paint. So, I got two of the walls done, including the trim, and am planning on continuing it tonight. I'm not sure if it will get finished though. Depends on how much energy I have. I'm also getting my hair cut tonight too, so that will take some time out of it. I hate having my bedroom in such a state of disarray. My bed is in the middle of the room and my pillow kept falling off last night. But I did sleep pretty well.

So, yeah, what else? A big "happy birthday" to Rusty. The San Francisco show for airiel at Rockin Java is now set. I'm waiting to hear from Dan at Clairecords about the Sacramento show. Rock.

April 19th, 2002 08:34 hours CST currently listening to: "Olsen Olsen" by Sigur-Ros.

I adore this song. I almost cry every time I hear it. It was one of the most fantastic concerts I'd ever been to. Vincent, Christian and Linsey were all with me in the balcony of the Vic Theatre. It was the night before I flew down to Atlanta to meet Kristen for the first time. The Album Leaf was the opening band and I was absolutely stunned by them as well. Sigue-Ros had such a fantastic video component to each song. This song seemed to last forever. *sigh*

I'm so excited!!! I called my rental agency yesterday and they've agreed to let me paint my apartment!!!! I'm typing up a certifying document right now that I have to fax over. It's so that I recognize that I am obligated to restore the apartment to it's original, shitty, gay-ass, "off-white" color whenever I leave the place. I so excited!! Karen has already offered to help me paint. I might actually get started on it this weekend, since I'm taking Monday off after Siouxsie and the Banshees. Although, since little mis rockett can't come down, I might not really need to take that day off. We'll see.

I had a super fun time with Rachel and Kristen last night. Not the above mentioned Kristen, but Rachel's friend. We wanted to go to Lula Cafe for dinner, but they've closed for renovations. We went to the Boulevard Cafe instead which is right around the corner from Lula. I had a pretty kickin Salmon steak. We had nifty conversations about all sorts of things. She just had an experience that reminded me of "little miss bleeds on my couch and then moves out without ever cleaning it." You know who I mean. Emily. Yeah. So, I felt for Kristen in a big way. At least her problem person offered to actually make amends instead of offering excuses. Then on the way home we stopped at that uber kitch store next door and I bought an old Atari t-shirt and a very cool light switch cover. Then we dove by what will soon become Rachel's new apartment. I'm so excited that she'll be within walking distance from me and that we'll be able to ride the trains together. Actually, I'm more excited that she won't be living in that terrible neighborhood she's in right now. Screw that place.

Lots of stuff going on this weekend, so I'm making a point to stay in tonight and vedge. I'm just going to hang around and play games all night and watch movies. I still have to make a cd for Ben to practice with. And I still need to clean up my place. I've got a few months worth of recyclables to take to the recycling center tomorrow. Thank god I clean that stuff before I throw it in the bins on the back porch. Otherwise I'd have an infestation. Ick.

April 18th, 2002 08:34 hours CST currently listening to: "International Bright Young Thing" by Jesus Jones.

My apartment is a mess. I remember when I got my first porno mag back in middle school. It was a Playboy, I think. There was this article (no, really) about a housecleaning service in Florida that had the women cleaning your place in the nude. Just walkin around, dusting stuff, doing some dishes, sweeping up, completely naked. I think I need something like that right now. Any takers? Just let me know. I used to be such a clean freak and then I went away for a weekend and it's like a bomb was dropped.

I was actually wandering around my place kind of bored last night. Of course, cleaning up my apartment never entered my mind. So I sat down and started playing Extermination again for the PS2. That's a very underrated game. It's like Resident Evil meets Metal Gear Solid with a plot line very similar to John Carpenter's "The Thing" and Aliens. So, while I was playing that and wolfing down cereal (the dinner of champions), I forgot to do a rant for Giraffe, make a CD for Ben to practice with, and cook actual dinner. I hope that asparagus I bought is still good. It should be.

Around 10 or so I went over to Karen and Courtney's place. They have a slick apartment. They have the paint job in their rooms that I want. Betsy Rockett and I were discussing the very same topic yesterday. I swear I'm just going to paint my place and say to hell with it. Let them charge me for it. I don't care. If anything I'm increasing the value of the place. So, yeah, I got to meet Liz and she was one cool cat. There aren't enough shoegazers in my life and she's now one of them. Karen, Liz and I sat on their back porch and drank a few beers and tried not to puke while listening to the woman next door who was coughing so disgustingly that we thought she was going to drop a lung on the floor. It was really gross. We almost yelled for them to shut up. That would have been grand. We talked about all kinds of random things. Funny doctor's office stories, people at our jobs, and how funny it is that I can do a near perfect Hank Hill impersonation. I keep forgetting how people respond when they hear me do that. It's not like I feel talented or anything, but I guess I'm dead on with it. Ah I love television. And television loves me.

April 17th, 2002 08:54 hours CST currently listening to: "We Are The Pigs" by Suede.

Here's my horoscope from The Onion today:

Aries: (March 21—April 19)
Give yourself a well-deserved treat by mixing incompatible drugs and having an ill-advised sexual encounter. You owe it to yourself for the week you're about to have.

Deb, would that work for me? Oh, if only it would.

Halleluiah and praise be to whatever! I installed my air conditioners last night. That's the sweetest thing ever invented. I slept like a baby. I pranced around naked like a pixie in a forest. Well, not so much pranced, as laid around in some shorts and a wife beater sighing contently. Next up is to clean my place out. I've suddenly got weird boxes of stuff laying around. This weekend is gonna be a biiiiig trip to the recycling center.

I got my tickets in the mail yesterday for my trip to California. I was really worried because when I bought the tickets online, I had given them my email address, but I had received no response at all. No confirmation that I'd even purchased the tickets. But there they were. My name spelled correctly and everything. Ri, Deb, Alyssa, I can't wait.

I got a huge box of stuff from my wish list at Amazon.com. My mother kicks ass. She got me "The Rickenbacker Book", a "50 Year History of Fender Guitars", the "Oxford Russian English Dictionary", Microsoft's Streets and Tips 2002, and a memory card for a Gamecube, which I don't own yet, but will once I get my refund from the government. Streets and Tips is way cool. It's like having your own exclusive version of Mapquest or Yahoo maps. AND it also downloads to my iPaq. It's going to be seriously handy if I ever get lost. I'm so excited! However, the box only consisted of the software CD's, the little piece of paper with the basic installation instructions, and the rebate card. I'm really wanting a manual for this thing. I've got some major questions. But it's way cool.

April 16th, 2002 08:10 hours CST currently listening to: "Stone Me" by Wire Train.

My calendar is starting to look like a swiss cheese! The Red Lights are playing this Saturday, and then Sunday night is Siouxsie and the Banshees. I'm taking Monday off in the hope that Sunday is an absolute freak-fest. Next Friday, Whimsical is opening for Kill Hannah at the Metro. The 30th is Alex's birthday. Then the 3rd is the Cranes at the Metro. The 10th and 11th is Peter Murphy. I as of yet have no plans for the weekend of the 17th. Then on the 23rd to the 26th I'm in California having hopefully the time of my life and playing my first airiel show in 2 years. Then the first weekend of June, my parents, sister and her boyfriend are coming up to visit. Good grief. When did I become so busy?

This heat sucks. I haven't slept well the last two nights. I've had all my windows open to try to help, but I live on the top floor of my building, so the heat is worse up there. Since the windows are open I've had stuff blowing everywhere. It's like a scene out of Poltergeist. Sans the flying protractor. It's making me realize that my apartment is a fucking shit hole right now.

Somehow I managed to piss off/irritate three separate people yesterday. It was weird. It was completely unintentional. I've already apologized sincerely several times to each one of them, so I'm not doing it again. It was just weird. Maybe it's the heat.

April 15th, 2002 08:10 hours CST currently listening to: "Lollygag" by Half String.

I got back into town last night around midnight. I was pretty tired. That's a long, boring drive from Bloomington. At least it wasn't raining this time. Came home to find out that Ri got engaged.

Friday Rachel came over and had lunch at my desk. I held her feet while she leaned out the window. I swear I heard her hock a luggie on the pedestrians below. That's my girl! Just kidding. I had driven to work that day because I wanted to head to Bloomington directly from work instead of going back up to my place and then loading my car blah blah blah. Well, not only did I get to my desk at 7:30, but after sitting there for 10 minutes I realized that out of all the things I had packed in my car, I had forgotten the backpack with my bathroom stuff and a change of clothes. Terrific. I went all the way back uptown via the L and got the backpack and turned around. What a drag. Took me an hour and a half to make the trip. It rained in biblical proportions on the way down. The first third of the trip was fine, and then the downpour ensued. Everyone was driving around 35 MPH. It sucked. other than that, the trip wasn't so bad, although I did have some weird run in with a traffic cop in front of the Science and Industry Museum who had a major attitude problem. Whatever. Just because you have a shit job, no dick, and nobody pays attention to you, don't take it out on me. I met up with Jenny and Peter at their place when I got down there. I called a ton of people to go out for a beer and couldn't reach anybody but them. Their baby is 9 months old and freaking HUGE. Not fat, but just big.

Saturday was Culture Shock in Dunn Meadow, and it was so dead. WIUS is definitely past it's golden age. The weather stayed relatively dry, but the mud was everywhere due to the rain the night before. I was happy to see that the bands were 90% indierock based. This was the first year where I didn't see any token ska or funk bands on the lineup. Maybe that horrid shit is finally going away. I ran into nearly 20 people that I knew. Played "catch up" all day with them. It was nice. People were really interested (or they seemed to be) in what I was up to and what was going on with airiel. The bands were alright. I'm sure the performances were stunted by the fact that the crowd was freakishly small. I remember years where Culture Shock was packed. Rain or shine. One of the highlights was this group called The Decanters that was sort of an alternative country group lead by this fantastic redhead who had tons of stage presence. Disappointingly discovered later on that she was dating the greasy guitar player. Oh well. There was also a solo artist who's name I can't remember. He was the spitting image of a young Tom Waits. He had a guitar and used foot pedals on a kick drum and snare drum. It was fantastic stuff. Gritty sounding rockabilly type stuff. All about whiskey, getting in fights and fucking. I saluted him.

I had planned on going to the Scholars Inn with my parents for dinner that night, but dad had a C section to do that night, so mom and I ordered a pizza and watched Enemy at the Gates. It was pretty good and I have to say that Jude Law (yum) and Rachel Weiss (yum) have one of the most believable sex scenes I've ever seen. I went across town to meet up with Emma and Jones. One of their roommates was having sex in the bedroom next to the living room and Polaroid's kept getting taken. Made me smile. I could see the flash going off from under the door and that familiar Polaroid sound. Rock on. We went to a party hosted by the girl who was singing for the Decanters. It was a dress up party, and unfortunately I had nothing all that dressy to wear, so I just tucked in that black, button down shirt I have with the glass snaps. It passed. There was a lot of Elvis being played on old 45's and some martini's and whatnot. It was alright. We split around 12:30 because I was driving and Jones had to work in the morning.

Sunday I just laid low. I took dad to Staples to get him some CD burning software and then I washed my car. I was pretty much my typical Sunday ritual down there. Met up with Cathy and her boyfriend Lyle, who apparently I met a few years ago when one of my bands was playing a show. Apparently we had gotten into some kind of argument. Not only did I not remember the argument, I didn't even remember him at all, so it was no big deal. Still kind of funny though. Jenn met up with us at the pizza place where we were and it was very good to see her.

Right now I'm actually wearing shorts. This blows. Where did spring go? It's supposed to be a high of 85 today. I'm pissed I need my light jacket weather!!! It's supposed to cool down in time for Siouxsie this weekend, so that's good. If I can't wear my leather pants, then there's gonna be trouble.

And as luck would have it with me lately, I just had a cancellation for the Siouxsie show because of a German exam the next day. I now have at least 2 spare tickets for this. Any takers? This wasn't the kind of thing I wanted to hear on a monday morning.

April 12th, 2002 11:53 hours CST currently listening to: "Love Forever" by Chapterhouse.

I copied this enormous survey off of Ri's live journal. I don't think I'm gonna do an update tomorrow, and since I'll be gone this weekend, I though I'd leave you all with this:

1) Name? Jeremy
2) Sex? Male
3) Birthday? April 7
4) Hair color? Auburn
5) Eye color? brown
6) siblings? older brother and sister (older half-brother as well)
7) Song? my favorite? screw that. for now, uh, "Heaven or Las Vegas" by the Cocteau Twins
8) Band/singer? impossible to answer
9) Actor? at the moment, Owen Wilson?
10)Actress? at the moment, Kate Blanchett
11)Movie? at the moment, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
12) Clothing brand name? I don't think I have one, but I do wear Gap jeans a lot
13) Animal? kitties
14) Day of the week? saturday
15) Color? blue
17) Store? Strange Cargo
18) City? Chicago
19) Country? USA
20) Sport? is porn a sport?
21) Internet site? X-Entertainment
22) Ice cream flavor? I remember cookies and cream being my favorite *sniff*
23) Season? Winter, and Fall
24) Holiday? Halloween.
25) Flower? roses. they smell pretty. I don't know the name of the one I really like to look at though
26) Cartoon? I don't think I watch any anymore
27) Hobby? video games, web design, writing music, recording, getting goth'd up at Neo
28) Flavor? Cherry
29) Hot or cold? Cold
30) Sweet or sour? sweet
32) Half-full or half-empty? half full
33) Soft or hard? depends on who's touching me
34) Light or dark? Dark.
35) E-mail or letter? I love letters since they come so infrequently
36) Phone or instant message? tough call
37) Day or night? Night
38) Radio or CD? cd.
39) Rain or shine? Rain. wait, I don't know. depends on the season.
40) Cat or dog? Cats
41) Are you Hetero-/Homo-/Bi-sexual? mentally bi sexual. but physically hetero. (boys are gross)
42) Are you in love? how should I know?
43) Are you in a relationship? no
44) Have you gotten your first kiss? I'm 25 for fuck sake. wait.... uh .. yes.
45) What form of birth control do/would you, use? condoms
46) Would/did you have sex before marriage? damn straight
47) Is there a difference between a crush and being in love? Yes. and both suck when they end.
48) Do you believe in true love? Sure. But then, I believed the Warren Commission.
49) Can long-distance relationships work? I think anything would work if you worked at it
50) Have you ever had a long-distance relationship? yep
52) Have you had sex in the past and regretted it? I don't think I've ever regretted having sex with anyone. Even the ones I imagined or lied about.
53) How long ago was your first kiss? may have been in the 4th or 5th grade
54) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? nope
55) Have you ever been in love with someone so much that you've cried over them? Yes
56) Have/would you ever see(n) an "X"-rated movie? Um, ask me how many I own
57) Do you enjoy French-kissing? is there any other kind?
58) Would you (honestly) sacrifice your life for your beloved? Yes
59) What do you look for in a lover (physically)? Hmmm. height doesn't matter, although I do love girls I can lift. Big brown eyes. Soft lips. Dark hair. Stiking facial features of some kind. is vocal during sex. shaven
60) What do you look for in a lover(mentally/emotionally)? extremely passionate, open, understanding, knows my do's and dont's. wait, do I even have any dont's?
61) Have you ever dumped someone? yes.
62) Have you ever been dumped? yes.
63) Have you ever had your heart broken? absolutely.
64) Are you (honestly) afraid of commitment? yes, but I like the idea of commitment
65) Are you attracted to people with accents? not sure. haven't been around enough to decide
67) Do you drink? I'm a total lightweight, but yes
68) How often do you shower? Every Day
69) Do you trust others easily? not sure aboust easily, but I do trust people

Physical appearance
1) What do you most like about your body? My lips or my eyebrows
2) And least? my gut (but it's getting smaller)
3) How many fillings do you have? several
4) Do you think you're good looking? I guess so
5) Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking? I have yet to take any ccompliment well
6) Do you look like any celebrities? back when I had black hair and was a bit more chubby in the face, I was told that I looked exactly like E from The Eels

Fashion
1) Do you wear a watch? always
2) How many coats and jackets do you own? about 10 or 12
3) Favorite pants/skirt color? I'm a big fan of blue jeans right now
4) Most expensive item of clothing? probably my leather pants
5) Most treasured? my leather pants. and my vintage chordiroy winter coat
6) What kind of shoes do you wear? usually nothing but black, Doc Martin gibsons of some form
7) Describe your style in one word: Um, uh, slightly off?

Your friends
1) Do your friends 'know' you? meaing they've had sex with me? a handful
2) What do they tend to be like? kind. plesant. good conversationalists. we compliment each other (not verbally).
3) Are there traits in you that are universally liked? I'm mild mannered and somehow generally likeable?
4) How many people do you tell everything to? about 5
5) How many people tell you everything? not enough

Love
1) Are you in a relationship right now? no
2) Rate it on a scale from 1-10: ......
3) you been? what?
4) What song reminds you of your special someone? "She's in Fashion" by Suede
5) Have you ever loved a person so much that it hurt? yes
6) How many people do you say 'i love you' to on a daily basis? daily? Zero
7) Have you ever cheated on your significant other? yes
8) If not, would you ever if given the chance with the guy/girl of your dreams? yes

Music/TV/Film/Books
1)favorite band ever: yeah, right
2) Most listened to bands: The Stone Roses, The Kitchens of Distinction, Lush, The Cocteau Twins, My Bloody Valentine, The Dandy Warhols, The Cure
3) Do you find any musicians good-looking? I used to have a major crush on Harriet Wheeler from The Sundays
4) Can you play an instrument? yes
5) Type of music most listened to? shoegazer, dreampop, spacerock
6) Type never listened to? country, rap, and classical
7) Favorite book? The Gashlllcrumb Tinnies by Edward Gorey.

Religion
1) Do you detest religion? Short answer = yes. Long answer = No. People should do what they want, just keep that stupid shit FAR away from me
2) How do you think this universe was formed (explain in detail)? I don't know and I don't care
3) If you currently follow a religion, do you think people who belong to another religion are ignorant? For the most part I think all religions today are short-sighted and ridiculous. An invisible man that lives in the sky? Give me a break. Life is what you make of it, not what's told to you. End of story.
4) If you were in a hostage situation, and you were given a choice, to either praise the demon they follow or die, what would you choose? Death.

Homosexuality
1) What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands? lucky bastards/bitches
2) Do you detest homosexuality? no
3) Do you agree or disagree with gay or lesbian couples bringing up children? for the most part, they're the most commited parents I've ever seen

General Questions
1) Whom do you believe is the smartest man alive at the moment? George Carlin. well, maybe not smartest, but most insightful
2) What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day? didn't I already answer this?
3) Do you consider yourself lucky? yes
4) Do you feel pity for people who commit suicide? fuck no
5) Choose one word to describe how you feel all of the time ...... vanilla

April 10th, 2002 9:00 hours CST currently listening to: "Paint The Silence" by South.

I'm going to scream. I was up until 3 AM last night trying to write lyrics for that new song I'm working on. I can't even come up with a title!! AARRGGGGHHHHH. I'm not a poet. I never have been. It's funny how in certain situations it's hard for me to shut up, but get me to write thought provoking words on demand? Doesn't happen. I fucking hate this.

April 9th, 2002 10:19 hours CST currently listening to: "Any Day Now" by Elbow.

Yesterday was so cool looking. The fog was amazingly thick. Throughout the day there wasn't a single time where I was able to see the lake at all. It was that thick. I loved it. Dave and Curtissa took me to lunch at this Cajun place called Heaven On Seven. I had some kick ass jambalaya. We talked about old people and living in assisted-living situations. Made me think of my aging grandparents. I'll be seeing them this weekend. I want to go by the Chicago Architectural store and pick something up for them.

As it turns out, this weekend is Culture Shock. It's the biggest music festival that Indiana University puts on. I doubt that the band scene has improved at all, but it will be cool to see what kind of variety they can dish out this year. There's always this curse during Fall Fest and Culture Shock that 8 times out of 10 it rains like crazy that day, or is just really damn dismal. The forecast for this weekend actually looks ok. We'll see though.

I got the sweetest birthday card from Debster last night. She always knows how to put a smile on my face with the things she mails me. I also got a bunch of CDR's from Lynn. I'm listening to them right now.

Yesterday on my way into work I stopped in CVS and bought more Lactaid pills. I also picked up a bag of Rold Gold honey mustard flavored pretzels. Oh dear god, I'm so hooked on these.

Oh yeah! I purchased my tickets to go to California yesterday too! I got a really good deal. Non-stop round trip for about $270 with tax. I'm so excited I can hardly sit still.

April 7th, 2002 16:00 hours CST currently listening to: "Soon" by My Bloody Valentine.

Well, today I am 25 years old. Oh goodie. I'm not that depressed about it, despite the ominous dark cloud that's hanging over it today. See my news section. Friday night was fun. I finally got to see Vincent for the first time in about 4 months or so. We met up for the Asian American Film Festival opening night. We watched several short films and then a screening of "Better Luck Tomorrow" which you may have heard of from the controversy at Sundance. The film was quite good. Afterwards, the entire main cast, director, producer and screenwriter came up to the front for a Q and A. The Q and A was somewhat interesting. Most of the cast members' answers were just fluff, and no real substance. One of the stars was in both of the American Pie movies (the MILF guy). He was definitely a cut-up. He kept cracking jokes and whatnot. I talked to him after the movie. He was super nice. Not much else to say. I didn't go to the cast party afterwards. My throat was killing me and it was already 11:30 and I was still downtown. Taking a train that late at night sucks.

Saturday was pretty boring, but I am in the middle of recording an absolutely FANTASTIC new song for airiel. I really love it. But I'm having the worst time trying to write lyrics for it. Once I do, I'll post it. It's very Mahogany sounding, but with an almost dance beat to it. I love love love it. That pretty much took up my whole day. I got all wrapped up in it. Lying on the floor in front of my pedals and trying to write lyrics while drinking a beer. It was a good time.

I got all leathered up and went over to Jeff and Kim's. Kim made me fix us a vodka tonic and Jeff threw in "Glider" by My Bloody Valentine. That guy knows how to set a mood. We went over to this new club (well, newly found) called Club950. I guess this place is a freaky medieval themed restaurant during the day and it gets all goth at night. Well, on Saturday nights anyway. It seemed like the crowd that was there really didn't fit, and that they would be too scared to go to Neo, but it was great fun. Lot's of seats and booths. Good loud sound system.

We stopped at a White Hen to get Jeff some Red Bulls so he would wake up. It did the trick too. He was wired by the time we parked. The place was packed by 1:30. The DJ was mixing some really lame shit most of the night. Jeff even got out and danced a few times. I was proud. Jeff, we celebrate you. There was this one really beautiful girl wearing a leather short skirt/dress thing with a Betty Page haircut that danced with me a few times. Didn't get her name though. Jeff and Kim were disappointed in me. Oh well. My heart just wasn't in it. We left around 3 or so. I'm hung-over as shit right now. Naturally, I woke up at 8 AM. I hate that. Fuck my internal clock in the face. I got up and ate some cereal, went back to bed. My brother called to wish me a happy birthday. I went back to bed and then got up around 2 or something. I've been copying CD's for people and chatting all day. I have no intention what so ever of leaving the house. Alex called and was in the same shape. Birds of a feather.

April 5th, 2002 08:55 hours CST currently listening to: "Primitive Heart" by The Cocteau Twins.

Well, my throat seems pretty tame so far. Last night it just sucked. I didn't go out last night, and it's probably a good thing that I didn't. Being in a smokey bar and having to shout would have just made things worse. If this is indeed the thing that's been sweeping through my office, I might be expecting to miss a few days of work. Joy! "Happy birthday. Here's a respiratory infection"

So I ended up kicking back and changing the strings on my Fender Jaguar and my Rickenbacker 330. The action on my 330 has always been a little high. So after putting on new strings I got out my alen wrenches and lowered the bridge. Hmmmmm. the action still seemed high. Then I realized why. The neck is bowing. Son of a bitch. It's not that bad. I'm sure a truss rod adjustment would fix it, but I have no tools for that, nor the experience in adjusting them myself. Looks like I'll have to take it into a shop.

Chatted with Alex for a while, which was nice. She seemed more upset about my 330 than I was. But I think the "I feel miserable" factor had something to do with that. I spoke with Betsy for a bit as well. She's green lighted the Siouxsie show. I can't wait. That's going to be a good group of people, I think.

April 4th, 2002 08:55 hours CST currently listening to: "Only Love Can Break Your Heart" by Saint Etienne.

Well so far today has completely sucked ass. I woke up late, dropped the pan on the floor that had my egg whites in it. They weren't cooked yet, so there's artificial hen cum all over my kitchen floor. Terrific. Tried to edit my profile on MRH to realize that I'm not on there at all anymore, yet I still have an account. I know George has been up to his armpits in tech troubles with that site though. Also just discovered that my cam got taken off of MOC. I've got a headache and I keep sneezing. And I'm pissed that I'm turning 25 on Sunday.

I called Deb last night in California and her mom hung up on me. Tried to get a hold of Ri, but left a message. I did manage to talk to Alex last night however, while I was still here at work around 9:00. It was good to finally hear from her. Hopefully we'll meet up soon. I need to write something for Rachel's zine, Giraffe, and can't think of a single thing. Fuck today in the face.

I'm looking forward to going out tonight though. I'm meeting up with Chris and some other folks at Prodigal Son for a 9:00 show. Lovelife and Turn Pale are playing. Chris promised that he'd pay for all the drinks if we didn't like them. Fair enough. I love a challenge. Turn Pale is made up of several band all stars back from my hometown. Hopefully some of the other b-ton jacks and jills will be around as well.

**Updated 15:30 Hours CST**

Her: she is really good looking i think..
tall boyish short hair that's long in the front green eyes with dark circles around them. perfect honey skin. the most beautiful hands and arms in the entire world. an adorable little smile that rarely comes out to play... her lips have more character than the entire screen actors guild. she can make the grinch face..
Me: Uh......
Her: i left my nose ring in my other pants' pocket
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

April 3rd, 2002 08:55 hours CST currently listening to: "Unicorn" by Bel Canto.

My throat is absolutely fucking pissing me off. It's sore some days, it's fine other days. I'm really hoping that it's not Rachel's cats. Because I've been wanting to get a couple cats for a while now, but haven't gotten my shit together to do it. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Went to Rachel's last night. Met one of her friends named Shawn, who was a total sweetheart. I actually managed to get some work done on the zine for MRH. I still have tons to do, but at least I've got a formula going. Everything was going pretty well until I went downstairs to get my laundry out of the dryer and noticed that someone had taken a major piss in the elevator. Lovely.

So this is day three without my beloved aol instant messenger. I'm getting by alright. It's definitely an addiction, to be sure. I signed on briefly last night when I was home, but couldn't really talk to anyone because I had a pot of (really bad) chicken tortellini boiling over in the kitchen. Five quarts of water my ass. The emails have been flowing constantly, and for that I am thankful. It's funny to notice how some people don't talk much when you chat with them. But if they write an email it's just packed with text. An on the subject of email, I've received tons of congratulatory emails from my coworkers in regards to my promotion. Makes me smile.

Oh!!! I got my new desk today. I now have a window seat with a clear view of lake Michigan, the Navy Pier and the Art Institute. How fucking cool. Once I'm done moving my crap around, I'll leave the webcam on. Heh.

***Updated at 16:22 hours CST**

Ri, I hope you realize that it takes me a good fifteen minutes to get my heart going again after you say things like that. XOXOXO .

On a further note, I just moved into my new desk with my giant window. Liz apparently left two full boxes of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies in one of the drawers. I ate half a box after lunch. I think I'm gonna hurl.

But other than that, and knowing I have to stay reeeeeally late tonight, my day is rockin'.

April 2nd, 2002 08:35 hours CST currently listening to: "Superblast" by Lush.

Well, yesterday was my first day with my actual recognized promotion. I'm now officially the Network Systems Administrator for my company's office here in Chicago. My ego is high, and my flow be fresh.

The weekend was cool. Saw Blade II up in Evantson. That movie flat out rocked. There was so much gothy, vinyl, leather goodness that I had to wait a full 15 minutes after everyone left before I could comfortably get out of my seat and stand up. Well, maybe not 15 minutes, but you get my point. It was much darker than the first movie. Much more gory, to be sure.

Saturday wasn't much. Got my hair cut. Took care of Rachel's cats. I was cat sitting for her this weekend while she was back home for Easter. You know Easter. That weird-ass Christian holiday where the baby Jesus gave birth to the 10 marshmallow peeps? Yeah. That one. Anyway. Linsey and Christian came to pick me up in Linsey's new car. Can't remember what make and model it is, but it was brand new, and very nice. Good back seat too. My head wasn't touching the ceiling, so I liked it. Of course that could be because I had gotten my hair cut a few hours prior, and I just didn't have my antigravity qualities up to speck. We went to Lula for dinner and then back to their place. We watched Office Space for a while (wonderful movie) and then Christian and I walked down to the Music Box theater to see the sequel to Vampire Hunter D. This was also much more dark and gory than the first one. It was amazingly good. Sadly, I was trying my best to stay awake. I even drank a coke and it didn't help. And you guys know how well I do with caffeine. Which is to say, I don't. I resorted to burying my finger nails into my forearms. That sort of helped. I was delirious when I got home. I noticed that the caffeine was trying to make my brain more alert, yet my body was just exhausted.

Sunday I set out to accomplish some goals and I did just that. I hunkered down and finally finished Final Fantasy X. Didn't get everyone's ultimate weapons to their full potential, but oh well. That ending made me cry! Good lord people, I'm such a sap these days. So, one challenge down. On to the next. I disassembled my computers and moved my desk away from the wall. I got under there and cleaned up all the wires and cords and swept the place out. Then I mounted these three kitchy glass squares that I bought from IKEA a while ago. They don't look as good as I thought they would and I'm not sure why. Rachel is coming over tonight so I'm sure she can give me some insight.

Not much else going on right now. It's raining a lot. Yesterdays snow really took us all by surprise. At least it wasn't raining when I went to the gym last night. It had been over a month since I'd been there. I kicked my own ass and I'm feeling it now that I'm at work, but wow, it felt good at the time. Whatever.

April 1st, 2002 11:10 hours CST currently listening to: "Empty Words" by Bowery Electric.

I have never claimed to be able to read minds.